- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
- Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
- “Hi-lite” your shoes. Tell people that you haven’t lost your shoes since you did this.
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in “Palmolive.”
- Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it “IN.”
- Determine how many cups of coffee is “too many.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep ’em tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think?”
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE..
- type only in lowercase
- Dont use any punctuation either
- Repeat the following conversation a few times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- When nearly done, announce “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in the parking lot at lunch time pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles”.
This entry was posted
on Sunday, July 4th, 2004 by Eric Chromick at 1:45 pm and is filed under Humor.
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Great web page, i love it!